Maa ka khayal

[Takecareofmeplease]

Ab aage

Rahul: aunty aap kuch bolte na.
Maa: rahul please chale jao. Kuch galat ho jayega.
Rahul: are aunty kya galat ho jayega.? Kuch nahi hoga. Aur kuch nahi hota.
Maa: nahi tum samaj nahi rahe ho. Darpan kabhi bhi aa sakata hai. Tu aaya hai to wo kal ki tarah aa hi jayega...
Rahul: aunty aaj wo nahi aayega.. wo mai phone nahi karunga tab tak nahi aayega. Mai bata kar hi aaya hu ke yaha aa raha hu. Aur muje kam hai.
Maa: aur wo man gaya ? To nahi aayega?

Ye sala bazi bigad ne par kyo tula huaa hai...? Madarchod sala...

Rahul: are... Wo mai... Matalab ke bas aapka dil rakhne ke liye bol raha hu. Ke aap tension mat lo... Koi nahi aayega... Ham baithe hi to hai usme kisiko kya farak padega? Waise koi aa jaye to blouse hi to pahn na hai. Mai darwaza kholuga aap blouse pahan ke aa jayega. Mai bataunga ke aap washroom gaye the. Simple...
Maa: hmmm 
Rahul: aunty problem kya hai aapka. Aap itna chup chup kuch bol hi nahi rahe hai. Mai aaya to pasand nahi aaya kya?
Maa: aisa nahi hai rahul kuch ajib lag rha hai.
Rahul: man me pap hai to ajib to lagega.
Maa: ku...ch... Nahi... Tum badmash hi raho ge. Jao tumse bat hi nahi karni hai...
Rahul: are aap to ruth gai... Waise pallu hataya hai tab se koi jyada hi sundar lag raha hai kisi ne bataya ya nahi?
Maa: kaha? Koi kuch batata hi nahi..
Rahul: uncle ke to sach me maze honge. Aap jaisi biwi hove to koi kam me bhi dhyan kaise lagaye?
Maa: bas ab tarife karna band karo. Aur ye batao ke kya nashta karoge?
Rahul: aunty nashta ek shart pe karege...
Maa: nashte me bhi shart?
Rahul: ha shart to rakhni padegi...
Maa: ho bolo agar.kar pau to...
Rahul: aunty mai chahta hu ke aap mere sath khul ke bat kare. Koi bhi parda na rahe bat karne me. Ek tarah se yun bolu ke aap ko mai girlfriend banana chahta hu. Kya banoge aap mere girlfriend?
Maa: tu pagal hai kya?
Mai: aunty waise bhi ek boyfriend ko jo chahie wo sab aap me hai. Upr se aap itni khubsurat hai. Aap mere lie sab intezam bhi kar rahi hai. To kyo na sab official dost ban kar hi kare.. mai tera boyfriend tu meri girlfriend.... Ha ha ha....
Maa: ha ha ha... Waise bhi tune kuch jyada hi dekh liya hai aur kuch to bat hai tere me jo tu dost banane ke layak to hai... Matlab ke boyfriend....
Rahul: aunty...

Bat ko kat te hue...

Maa: suman. Call me suman. Girlfriend bhi banana chahte ho aur aunty? Aur aap nahi tum

Rahul pahali jung jit gaya...

Rahul: ok suman... Ajib lag raha hai par maza aaya ke maine kisiko pahali bar propose kiya aur mera proposal except ho gaya...
Maa: ha ha ha lucky one... Ya mai lucky hu?
Rahul: aap lucky hai. Kyonki mera jaisa boyfriend mila hai aapko...
Maa: bachchu ek din tuhi bolega ke tu lucky hai ke tuje mere jaise girlfriend mili hai...
Rahul: wo to kaise pata. Abhi to aap ko mai mila hu...
Maa: fir aap?
Rahul: ha baba tum... Meri suman, meri girlfriend... Bas? Kya nashta karege? Sath bnaye kuch?
Maa: ha chal kutch banate hai. Maggie banaye?
Rahul: chal... 

Wo dono uthe aur rahul ne phone ko bagar nikala aur muje dekh aankh mari. Sala chutiya... 

Rahul: suman piche se to aur bhi mast lag raha hai nazara...
Mai: chal an kam kar...

Rahul ne refrigerator par mobile rakh diya take muje pure kitchen ka nazara dikhai de... Usne pani nikal ne bahane ye sab kar liya...

Rahul: kitni garami hai...
Maa: kaha hai..?
Rahul: are tu jo itni hot hai..
Maa: tu bas... Chhod..
Rahul: maine to hath bhi to nahi lagaya...
Maa: rahul... Bahot kharab joke tha...
Rahul: ok... 

Rahul aur maa Meggie bana rahe the aur kabhi kabhi wo maa ko chhu leta tha bahane se. Maa ke kandhe par hath rakh leta tha... Pith par hath fer leta.  Maa use tok hi nahi rahi thi. Fir Meggie taiyar hui aur dono bahar aaye. Ab mobile tv par rakhkha take pura view dikhai de.. maa apne me magn thi. Ye bindas kar raha tha aur maa wo dekh bhi bahi rahi thi.

Maa: aur bata... Ye to tera last semester hai na
Rahul: hmmm fir sab band ho jayega yaha aana jana...

Bas sab idhar udhar ki bate kar rahe the... Ke tab maa ne bola ke muje ab bahar jana hai aur zaruri hai ....

Rahul: thik hai chalo. Kya ek request kar sakta hu?
Maa: tuje ab hukum karne ki aadat dal ni padegi. Mai girlfriend jo hu teri...
Rahul: can I hug you?
Maa: bas itni si bat?
Rahul: hmmm

Maa khadi hui aur rahul bhi. Aur rahul ko maa ne kas ke gale lagaya. Rahul use ekadam chipak gaya tha. Aur unki pith par hath fer raha tha. Maa ke kandhe par ek halka sa kiss kiya aur rahul phone le kar ja ne lagaa... Jaise wo lift tak pahuncha ke maa darwaje par khadi thi aur usne pura pallu gira diya tha. Rahul waha se chala gaya... Niche pahunch kar turant hi mujse bate karne laga...

Rahul: yara... Kya gazab hai teri maa
Mai: maza aaya? Girlfriend bana liya?
Rahul: ha yar mamme pata hai kitne soft hai? Maine pure dabaye hai. Ye mauka mai kaise chuk sakata tha? Ab girlfriend ko bistar tak pahuchana hai... Ye kadak mal hai .. bahot garam hai maza aayega. 
Mai: aish kar...

Ham log bhi idhar udhar ki bate karke alag hue... Mai ghar gaya. Maa simple kapdo me thi. Ek chamak si thi unki aankho me. Par ab aage kaise bate aage badhati hai is par sab nirbhar karta hai. Abhi ye tay karna mushkil sa hai ke maa kapde kap utare gi. Utarna shuru to kiya hi hai. Par....